You pierce my soul. I am half agony, half hope…I have loved none but you.

Jane Austen, Persuasion

51 plays

It’s been a while

And you’ve found someone better

But I’ve been waiting too long to give this up

The more I see, I understand

But sometimes, I still need you

4,840 plays

mrgolightly:

Robyn - Dancing On My Own [Acoustic]

(via waitwhatwhere)

Sad To Be

sarahjakey:

I think that no matter what I do or who I am with or how I am feeling, I will always be sad. 

I am sad in the morning. I am sad in the afternoon. I am sad in the evening. I am sad even now, when the sky is dark blue and the earth is as still as my eased mind.

I am sad for my faults. I am sad for my losses. I am sad for my potential, uncertain and dwindling. I am sad for my relationships, unstable and transient. 

What light is light, if Silvia be not seen?

What joy is joy, if Silvia be not by?

Unless it be to think that she is by

And feed upon the shadow of perfection

Except I be by Silvia in the night,

There is no music in the nightingale;

Unless I look on Silvia in the day,

There is no day for me to look upon;

She is my essence, and I leave to be,

If I be not by her fair influence

Foster’d, illumined, cherish’d, kept alive.

I fly not death, to fly his deadly doom:

Tarry I here, I but attend on death:

But, fly I hence, I fly away from life.

I’m not sad, but the boys who are looking for sad girls always find me. I’m not a girl anymore and I’m not sad anymore. You want me to be a tragic backdrop so that you can appear to be illuminated, so that people can say ‘Wow, isn’t he so terribly brave to love a girl who is so obviously sad?’ You think I’ll be the dark sky so you can be the star? I’ll swallow you whole.

Warsan Shire   (via bbaybi)

(Source: tahti, via sarahjakey)

I will never know why I chose Biology.

There has never been a passion. Although I’m pretty sure there was a want. Maybe there was a reason behind that want. I hope there is. But if there’s none, I can always die. Or get married.

To my sixteen-year-old self,

  • Wear your retainers.
  • Visit your family on weekends while you still can.
  • —While you still have a family to come home to.
  • Avoid the internet.
  • Never stay up late.
  • “Don’t be overwhelmed by cafeteria food.” -Freshman fifteen
  • Exercise.
  • Come home on your mom’s 52nd birthday. It could be her last.

It was a beautiful morning.

It was a beautiful morning.

Most of the time I would think about something, about a lot of things actually, but then my journal, Emily, isn’t with me so I could not write it down. Then I would go home, think about the same things, would have a strong urge to write, but then I could not seem to get my ass off the computer chair and grab a pen. Instead, I’d just stare into nothing, waiting for Emily and a pen to come to me and write my thoughts for me.

The same thing happens when I feel the urge to shower. I’m on the ride home, and I know I want to shower. Then I get home, I remove my clothes, put on a towel, and then the world suddenly gives me a shower-amnesia. Either I immediately lay down on my bed until I fall asleep or I start manipulating the computer until 3am - with my towel on.

You see, nothing happens in my life anymore. The things I want to do, I just can’t do anymore. I can’t think straight, can’t do things right. I never finish anything, nor have I started anything worth finishing either. I have bought gazillion books this year but read only one. My poems don’t seem to go anywhere, and my songs, well, I can never give melody to. And please let’s not talk about the freshman fifteen.

It’s so difficult to feel alienated from my own self. It makes it so easy to feel pain, but so hard to feel okay. I look in the mirror, and I feel ashamed. I look terrible. I read aloud, talk loud, but then I don’t hear myself.  Instead I hear the voice of a seventeen year-old with the vocabulary of a first grader. I feel unintelligent.

But hey, I’m writing now so maybe there’s still hope?

“Her heart was a secret garden and the walls were very high.”